somebody snuck up and got me drunk
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
