we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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