why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
