There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
