I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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