if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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