Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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