Your face is a jimmy john
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize