So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
