she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
