You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
