Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
