i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
