clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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