She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
