you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
