Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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