I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
