I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize