I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
