I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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