Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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