and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize