i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
