you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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