I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
3pm strippers are depressing
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
