Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
