i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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