If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
