They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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