one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
