I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
