I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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