She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
