i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
