I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
