Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
