i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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