Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
