what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
