I love black thongs
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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