So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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