real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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