Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk is a universal language darling
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
