Jerry, you need to find god
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
