So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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