How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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