rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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