I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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