I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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