i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
