My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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