dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
