i barfeds in our rink
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
