Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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