I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sext me about skeletons
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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