I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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