i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
