I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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