How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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