hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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