That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
