Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
