I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
