Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize