Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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