he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
